Monday, February 10, 2014

Who knows how much further we'll go on

     Life has seemed so chaotic lately; but I believe that the worst is behind me. I go through phases where I forget all the craziness that is people, and agendas, and desires. I'm no longer afraid that the boy I like may decide that it's too much work to like me back. I stop feeling nervous about looking for a new job or stressed about working on this blog. During these periods I have no distracting emotions, no running thoughts that keep me from sleep. The world is calm, I feel at peace. It's like taking a step back and looking at life through someone else's eyes. Objective. Simple.

     But then the moment is gone. I am swept back to the confusing, sometimes overwhelming, state that I call my norm. My goal is to reach those moments of clarity more every day. But I've been slipping. Every step I make against the tide, I am pushed back two. Sometimes I make it further only to fall and be tossed about in the current. To wash back on shore and forced to start again.

     There are so many things I am afraid of, so many things I have to balance... and it becomes so hard to think of any of them when I feel this.. this peace. I can't seem to remember the worries that kept me up just yesterday. My hope is that the clarity lasts longer this time. It slipped away so quickly last time, without me even noticing.

     I guess I should tell you a little about the outfit. This girl is a kind of broken glamor. I love going for full princess but there is a depth, an intrigue that's added, when you mess her up a bit. I wanted the pretty lace of the dress to shine and think keeping everything else black gave just that effect.
     This dress will always have a special place in my heart; it was the first dress I found that fit me. Back when the maxi empire-waist dresses were all you could find and I was the jeans and simple, mono-color, shirt type of girl I had gone into an Urban Outfitters and there it was. Fitted around the waist, flared out at the bottom, all in a delicate lace. I was in love- and still am!

Please feel free to comment as constructive criticism is always welcome!

Lots of love,